Hello lovelies!Wow. It's been such a long time. So a few weeks ago, I popped back onto the scene after a long break from the blogging world. I stopped blogging in March last year. I didn't exactly quit blogging, I just decided that I needed a break and needed to evaluate whether this whole 'blogging' thing was for me anymore. Yes. I know, a very long evaluation indeed. Soz about that.
I got to that point where I was only blogging for the sake of it. I had no enjoyment from blogging anymore, I wasn't writing with passion like I did in the beginning. I let the numbers consume me really, and let my status in the blogging world tear me down, and knock my confidence. Every time I lost a reader or a follower on Instagram I let it get me down. I always thought 'What am I doing wrong?'
Blogging has changed so much since I started writing as a hobby in 2012, fast forward 5 years. (wow I feel so old) and you have bloggers from back in the day that used to join the #bbloggers chats, making so much £££, they're practically celebs. I see some of my old blogging friends on TV adverts and I'm like 'wow! How did that happen?' It's amazing, empowering and inspiring but so strange at the same time. I think when I see my fellow bloggers, who I used to blog with way before 2012, its so easy to compare myself to them, and even though I'm crazy proud of them and what they've achieved it does make me wonder where I'd be now had I have done things differently and maybe worked a bit harder. It's human nature to compare yourself to others, and in this crazy blogging world it's pretty impossible not to. However, I've truly learnt the meaning of the quote 'comparison is the thief of joy' this year and I will not let it steal any more of my happiness.
I think I got swept up into the madness of trying to be something I'm not, simply trying to only succeed in the blogging world, and by succeeding that meant sticking to a strict blog schedule, wasting my weekends away taking pretty blog photographs with the best lighting and the prettiest of props, cancelling plans with friends and families because I felt too pressured to put content out there, feeling like a failure if I missed a bloggers chat, or heaven forbid lost a few followers on Instagram.
It became ridiculous. I work a full time job, yet I was putting so much pressure on myself to make my blog HAPPEN. I wasn't doing this for me anymore, nor was I doing it for my readers. The content was utter shit. It wasn't me, it didn't reflect, truly who I was. I was writing about what I love about, but it felt numb. So who was I doing this for? It certainly wasn't to become blogger famous, I hate having my face plastered all over the internet, I'm far too shy. And it definitely wasn't about making £££ either, I've never wanted to make blogging a full time thing for me, it's always been my slice of cake on the side. I've thought about it loads over the past, almost a year, and I still have no idea why I became this way. I really did lose myself and my passion for writing in those few months. I think it's drilled into you at times, that you are only successful if you have a certain amount of followers or a certain amount of PR work coming your way. When did being a blogger become so shallow?
Around Christmas time, I just really, really missed writing. I missed the buzz that blogging and writing gave me. Bloody hell, I even missed those miserable, rainy days where I moaned about the bad lighting for my blog photographs. I did some LUSH hauling and I really wanted to write about it. I went into Primark and spotted some bargains and was desperate to share it. I saw old bloggerfriends on my Twitter timeline joining in the weekly #bbloggers chats, and I slowly started joining in again. Then I reopened my Instagram page, that bloody Algorithm is a pain though isn't it?! I started posting more and more photos. Be proud, I even put my face on the internet. That's such a huge step for me as I am totally shy. I started doing Insta Stories, and I fell in love with sharing my opinion online again, this time without the pressure of trying to be something I'm not. Slowly but surely, the real me, the one that loves writing and sharing my huge passion for all things beauty & lifestyle related started to come back. I spent hours on Pinterest, and reading my favourite blogs and something felt familiar again. It was that buzz of excitement and inspiration that I first had in my early days of blogging, you know that feeling you got when you can't sleep at night because you are so excited about something?
I decided I wanted to blog again. This time for myself, you lovely readers (if you're still there, Hi!) and for the huge passion I have for writing. Not for the numbers or popularity. My life just doesn't feel the same without a slice of blogging in it. I've decided I'm going to write, just like I did in the beginning. Sort of like I'm talking to myself. I'm not going to put any pressure on myself, I'm going to write simply because I adore it. If I make the bloggers chat, I make it, if I didn't take blog photographs this weekend because of bad lighting, so be it. If that post wasn't scheduled on time, it probably means I'm out living my life and making memories, enjoying myself. So much has happened in my personal life over the past year. I truly have learned a lot and made some amazing memories. I got a new job, I got engaged, and we even got a beautiful new home. I have so much to share with you all and I truly believe, the best is yet to come, so if you want to stick around please do, I have no idea where my little corner of the web will take me, but right now I'm content in pursuing my passion, with no pressure added. ♥
Expect lots of: beauty, lifestyle, self help, general girly and life chats, a more 'grown up' feel, lots of hauls (as always, some things never change.), expect a bit of everything really!